Forget and Remember
by Yukishiro Madoka
Summary: [AU] Forget the love that was meant to be true, in hopes of finding someone new. When you find the one who'll forever love you, you'll know this love will be forever true. Remember that I will be always be here for you...[KikxSess] [Oneshot]


Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha, I wouldn't need to be writing fanfiction, now would I? 

A/N. Wow, another ficcie! u.u

My brain is probably going to explode from the ideas flowing around in it! x.x;;

Anyways, had to get this down, or else my brain would go crazy! T.T

Erm, yes, this is sorta different from the usual Sessh/Kik ficcie, but it does have the whole Inuyasha-leaves-Kikyo-for-Kagome-and-Kikyo-finds-comfort-in-Sessh's-arms. But it's a more different way of...erm, getting together with him. xDD

The poem is inspired by someone's poem called "Forget and Remember." I don't know the name of the author, but credit to the person for inspiring me! xDD

Anyways, hope you liked this one-shot! xDD Yes, your teeth will rot from all of the fluffiness...xDD Now why don't you go click that review button over there?

* * *

"Kikyo." 

She heard her name and turned instantly at the familiar voice. Her boyfriend, Inuyasha Tashio, quickly slipped a folded note into her hand, his usual brown eyes that had once embraced everything around him now bleak and hazy, for some reason. She mentally shook her head and convinced herself that perhaps he was exhausted or sleepy. She carefully opened the note, her eyes flickering across the paper as she read.

**_Kikyo,_**

**_Meet me under the Sacred Tree after school at 3:30._**

The Sacred Tree. The first time they met was under that very tree. There was a legend that the Sacred Tree had the powers to twine two people together for an eternity.

They had met one day, instantly becoming friends and believing that they were meant to meet at the Sacred Tree that possessed such holy powers. The Sacred Tree became their sanctuary. When they had met once more at the Sacred Tree a few months later, they had confessed their love and accepted each other's feelings.

That was the most beautiful day of her life. And it still is.

"Inuyasha?" She looked up, only to find him quite ahead of her, trying to push through the large crowd of students in the hallway. She quickly caught up with him, grabbing his wrist to stop him and prevent herself from being detached from him.

"Inuyasha, what is it that you want to speak to me about that you can not tell me now?" she asked curiously, frowning slightly at her boyfriend's rather troubled expression. He turned away from her, his bangs concealing his eyes from view.

"Something. Just meet me at the Sacred Tree," he instructed slowly, averting her eyes. She frowned deeply, wondering why his voice seemed to contain so much remorse and anxiety.

"All right. Farewell, Inuyasha," Kikyo responded nonchalantly, releasing his hand and waving her hand with the same grace she had always possessed. "I will see you after school."

He nodded hurriedly, rushing through the crowd in an attempt to get to his next class on time. Kikyo clutched her books to her chest tightly, not noticing the people passing in front and behind her, too busy staring after Inuyasha in confusion and puzzlement.

Why was it that Inuyasha seemed so different?

He seemed so far away...

He was close enough to touch, but it felt that she couldn't reach out for him.

Why?

He paused abruptly in his tracks, turning to stare at her briefly from the corner of his eye. Kikyo flinched and an almost silent gasp escaped from her lips, feeling a sudden jolt as his eyes met hers.

Why did he seem so troubled?

And he seemed guilty and...sad.

Sad?

Inuyasha stared back rather pitifully and sadly at her before turning away and rushing off again. She tried to catch one last glimspe of him, but he had vanished without a trace as the crowd of students swallowed his figure.

* * *

Kikyo walked down the sidewalk, sighing inwardly to herself for what seemed to be the millionth time that day. Inuyasha's strange attitude had been troubling her all day, never leaving her mind for an instant. 

Why did she have a feeling that something...bad was going to happen?

She shook head head, continuing down the path.

No, he was probably tired.

Or was he?

He had been acting rather strangely for a long time, as if he were keeping a secret that he did not want her to know. He also treated her with great care and anxiety, as if she were a piece of glass that woud shatter and harm him.

She had often asked him what was troubling him, but he had merely replied that he had stayed up the previous night, and that he just needed a good sleep.

Kikyo knew what was bothering him was more than exhaustion and restlessness. He was her boyfriend, after all. She knew him more than she even knew herself, if possible.

No, he wasn't her boyfriend. The term "boyfriend" wasn't enough to describe Inuyasha Tashio. He was more than that. Much more.

Inuyasha was her beloved. More importantly, he was her Inuyasha.

He was her Inuyasha, and she was his Kikyo.

What more could she ask for?

What could be more perfect?

Kikyo sighed inwardly with happiness as she continued to walk.

Was the legend of the Sacred Tree true?

Was it fate that brought them together?

And was it the Sacred Tree that twined their destinies?

She smiled faintly as she turned a corner, her eyes lighting up faintly as the Sacred Tree came into view. That wasn't all. Two shadowy figures were standing under the tree. One had their hands jammed in the pockets of their jacket, and the other was standing with her hands clasped behind her back. Inuyasha and Kagome Higurashi, her best friend.

Her eyes lit up again, this time with a brighter glow, and a blissful smile spread across her face. She cupped her hand over her mouth slightly, calling his name rather quietly, for she hated to raise her voice above its normal tone.

"Inuyasha! Kagome!"

Inuyasha turned at the sound of her voice, fixing her with a rather anxious stare and a crooked smile that didn't even seem real. Or perhaps it was her imagination. She hoped so.

Kagome smiled, waving her hand in a small motion. Kikyo almost believed her hand had a hint of uneasiness in its movement, and her mahogany eyes possessed a bit of dread. Kikyo couldn't understand, but she cleared herself of those thoughts.

"Hi, Kikyo..." Kagome greeted in a low tone, her smile fading into a sad frown.

"Is everything fine?" Kikyo asked in concern, her eyes narrowing with worry.

"No..." Kagome responded sadly, turning to face Inuyasha with half-lidded chocolate eyes. "Inuyasha...he has something to tell you."

Kikyo's heart sank with fear and dread, but she managed to keep her composure. She stared first at Kagome, then at Inuyasha.

"Kikyo..." he sighed her name, gazing at her sorrowfully. "I'm sorry."

Kikyo stared at him with confusion and bewilderment, her eyes slightly widening. "I-Inuyasha...?" she managed to muster out his name.

Inuyasha sighed again, the sadness and remorse in his brown eyes deepening. "I'm sorry, Kikyo. I don't know how to say this..."

"What do you mean?" Kikyo whispered anxiously, her throat growing sore and her stomach churning and her heart sinking with dread. "Inuyasha, what is it?"

"I'm sorry. But Kikyo...our relationship isn't working."

The words struck her like a mixture of lightning, thunder, tsunamis, and large boulders. Her knees buckled slightly, and the tips of the fingers touched her lips as her body trembled slightly.

"Inuyasha, what do you mean?"

"Kikyo, what I'm trying to say is...I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry."

"Inuyasha...?"

What was he saying?

Was this a joke?

But they never joked. At least, Kagome didn't. And Kikyo knew Inuyasha would never go this far in a joke.

Was this a nightmare?

She begged herself to wake up, feeling a warm yet cold wetness behind her brown eyes as cold words flooded through her mind. There were so many thoughts and words streaming within her that she couldn't catch them all, but she managed only to hear the words "Please, let this be a nightmare," as well as "No, this can not be true!"

Was it?

Was it a nightmare?

Was it...true?

"Don't get me wrong, I love you. It's not the way you want it to be. You're beautiful in every way, but we just weren't meant to be. You're a wonderful girl, Kikyo. But I realized that you weren't perfect. Not for me, anyway. I'm sorry."

"I'm really sorry, Kikyo," Kagome whispered softly, her eyes brimming slightly with tears as she watched her best friend turn away and blink furiously, as if trying to force back her own tears.

Kikyo swallowed everything, every bit of her emotions, thoughts, words, and feelings. She turned to Kagome with a bitter smile, her eyes hardening into two cold stones.

"There is no need to apologize, Kagome," she assured her, trying to keep the bitterness and sadness from her voice. "You have no reason to be sorry. I, however..." Kikyo turned her back on them, biting the inside of her lip gently. "I am the one who should be sorry."

"Kikyo..." Kagome said sadly, feeling the warm wetness build rapidly in her chocolate eyes.

"I should have known that we could not be, Inuyasha. Kagome...Inuyasha..." She turned her head slightly, only enough to stare at them from the corner of her eye. "I am sorry for being such an obstacle. And lastly...I am sorry for lying to myself."

"Kikyo..." Inuyasha spoke her name remorsefully, the sadness in his eyes deepening. "We...we can still be friends, right?"

That is the cruelest thing you can say to someone after you break up with them. Kikyo swallowed down her sadness, and turned away.

"Of course..." she found herself whispering. But she knew it would never be the same.

Kikyo turned to face Kagome, locking eyes with her best friend.

"Kagome. Please know that I am happy for you...and please take care of Inuyasha for me." Kagome could do nothing but nod silently, staring sadly at Kikyo as she remained inarticulate.

"Inuyasha..." Kikyo turned fully to lock eyes with him, getting lost in the beautiful pools of hazel that she would never be able to get lost in again. "Please know that I have always...and always will love you."

With one last wistful stare at the Sacred Tree, then at Kagome, and lastly, at Inuyasha, she turned her back on them and walked away.

* * *

Kikyo strolled silently down the sidewalk, her head hung slightly low as she walked slowly towards her home. She had given her heart to Inuyasha, only to be broken. No, it wasn't broken. It was shattered into a million pieces. 

She had given him her heart, and he gave it away to Kagome. Kikyo claimed her heart back, but it was broken and could never be mended. What was the use? She was dead now, but just breathing.

If only Kagome and Inuyasha never had feelings for each other...or they had never met...

She shook her head, continuing to walk down the path. Part of her knew she was being selfish. But it was human, right?

The other part knew she had to be happy for them. They were perfect for each other. She was a fool to think she could stand a chance against the perfect Kagome Higurashi with Inuyasha Tashio.

She bit the inside of her lip, feeling her eyes water slightly. The liquid vanished quickly and a small gasp of surprise escaped her lips as she bumped into a solid yet soft wall.

"Ohh...I apologize." She looked up to see who she had knocked into. For a moment, her heart skipped a beat as the name "Inuyasha" flickered through her mind. But her heart sank with hopelessness as she realized that the man she had knocked into wasn't Inuyasha, but his older brother, Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru. She had seen him often when she had visited Inuyasha's house. He was dark, cold, and mysterious, the opposite of Inuyasha, and perhaps similiar to herself. He rarely talked, but if he did, it was often a sarcastic remark to his younger brother. Seldom did he mean to start a conversation with her. She supposed she considered him a friend, or if not, perhaps an acquaintence.

He studied her with a piercing gaze, his eyes narrow with disinterest. At last, he spoke.

"Where is Inuyasha? Why are you not with him?"

She remained silent, thinking it would be awkward to confess that he broke up with her. She turned away, trying to think of a reasonable excuse, but could find none.

Unfortunately, Sesshomaru wasn't stupid. "He left you, did he not?" Sesshomaru shook his head, turning away from her to stare off into the horizon.

"Does it matter to you?" she shot back quietly, not afraid if he became angry at her disrespect and boldness. She blinked, trying to force her tears back.

"No."

"Then why do you ask?"

"I have my reasons. Tell me," he added suddenly. "Why do you not shed tears? Every girl who has been abandoned by the man they love always weep. Why do you not?"

"Does it matter to you?" she demanded bitterly, her voice slightly lowering with frusteration and anger. She could feel herself burning with rage at the nerve of Inuyasha's brother, and the boldness in his voice.

"No."

She turned to stare at him, her eyes hardening as she stared icily at him with her stony orbs of deep hazel.

"Then let's leave it at that."

Sesshomaru smirked slightly with amusement. "What has my brother done to deserve your affections?"

Kikyo turned her back on him, slightly annoyed, but her sadness overwhelmed her bitterness with Inuyasha's arrogant brother. She turned her head slightly to gaze bleakly at him from the corner of her sorrowful eye.

"He made me feel...loved."

And with that, she walked away without another word.

* * *

_Plop. Plop. Plop._

Could this day get any more depressing?

Kikyo stared out her window somberly, watching the rain pound softly against her window.

Probably not.

She sighed dejectly, running her fingers over the shell-shaped object in her palm, tracing the slightly deep lines embedded into the case. She gently pried it open, gazing sadly at the red puddle that rested beneath.

It was a gift from Inuyasha that he had given to her after the day they confessed their feelings. She knew he wasn't very wealthy, but she didn't care. It was the most beautiful gift she had ever recieved.

She had never had make-up, or even used it. She couldn't even afford to buy things like that. It wasn't that she was poor, but she didn't want to waste her money on useless things when she needed the money for school and other neccessities.

After they had departed, she had stayed secluded in her bedroom to try on the make-up. When she gazed with astonishment at the lovely woman in the mirror, she remembered smiling and thinking that Inuyasha had changed her in the most beautiful way.

And he still does...

Kikyo smiled bitterly. But now, Kagome would be the girl Inuyasha would change in the most beautiful way...

Kikyo gently pulled her drawer open and placed the lipstick case in it. Closing the drawer quietly, she turned away sadly. That was the drawer where she kept her memories in, and never reawakened them.

She sighed somberly, rising to her feet to walk slowly out of her bedroom and head to the kitchen. She hadn't realized she was starving, but maybe she was only feeling empty because a piece of her had died along with the love that had faded away.

Suddenly, a flash of white caught the corner of her eye. Kikyo turned, realizing that it was an envelope. It lay on the floor near her door, seeming to urge her to open it.

An envelope?

Kikyo frowned, puzzled. She had already collected her mail. Was this a late one?

And who had sent it?

Kikyo realized that the sender must have slid the envelope through the mail slot in the door. Who would go through the trouble of sending /her/ a letter, of all people, and in this rain?

Sighing as she bent low to pick it up, she turned it over slowly and carefully, looking for any traces of the sender. However, there was no return address. There was just her name, printed in neat, bold letters on the front.

She walked over to sit on her couch, staring silently at the envelope. Kikyo carefully tore it open, shaking the envelope slightly to make the contents fall onto her lap. Kikyo picked up the folded piece of paper, unfolding it slowly and spreading it out onto her lap so she could smooth the wrinkles. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she read the following:

**_Forget his name._**

**_Remember it won't ever be the same._**

**_-_**

**_Forget his loving kiss._**

**_Remember in his eyes only she exists. _**

**_-  
_**

**_Forget his face._**

**_  
_**

**_Forget his warm embrace._**

**_-_**

**_Forget the love that had died.  
_**

**_Forget that he had lied._**

**_-_**

**_Forget how close you once were.  
_**

**_Remember he has chosen her._**

**_-_**

**_Forget the promises he made to you.  
_**

**_Remember that his words were never true._**

**_-_**

**_Forget the warmth of his embrace.  
_**

**_Remember that you have been replaced._**

**_-_**

**_Forget the kisses you shared in the rain.  
_**

**_Remember that he isn't worth your pain._**

**_-_**

**_Forget the way he laughed and smiled with you. _**

**_Remember that he has found someone new._**

**_-_**

**_Forget the way he fought your fears._**

**_Remember that he's not worth your tears._**

**_-_**

**_Forget what I've listed in this letter. _**

**_Remember you deserve so much better._**

**_-_**

**_Forget the love that was meant to be true. _**

**_In hopes of finding someone new._**

**_-_**

**_When you find the one who'll forever love you. _**

**_You'll know this love will be forever true._**

**_-_**

**_Just know that I've always loved you. _**

**_R_****_emember that I will be always be here for you._**

Kikyo's eyes had widened as she read the letter, but now they were glistening with tears. She touched her lips with the tip of her fingers, trying her best to force the tears back. She didn't know if she was supposed to be feeling sad or happy. But judging by the warmth the letter gave her...she was happy.

Before, she had never felt so unwanted in her life...

And now, this person made her feel...truly appreciated and...loved...

She quickly picked up the envelope again, in hopes of finding the sender. As she turned the slightly torn envelope in her hands, a silvery object dropped out onto her lap. Kikyo's eyes flickered towards the sparkling object with astonishment, and her lips parted to form a small oval. A necklace.

The necklace was a thin, silvery chain on which hung half of a sapphire heart. One side of the heart was jagged to mimick the cracks in a broken heart. When she looked closely, she could see the letters _LO_ embedded into the sapphire heart. The tip of her fingers touched her lips gently again, and the tears almost fell this time.

Through her hazy vision, blurred by tears, she noticed a scrolled piece of paper wrapped around the chain of the necklace. She carefully smoothed it out, her eyes widening slightly as she read the two lines printed upon it.

**_Go to the Sacred Tree. _**

**_And then you will find me._**

* * *

Kikyo walked slowly down the path, her hand in the pocket of her jacket, fingering the folded letter. She didn't notice the rain that dropped softly onto her, or the water that dripped from her soaked hair. 

Kikyo had decided to take a walk in the rain. She didn't know why, but she found herself doing so.

She had always loved the rain. She didn't know why, but she loved the gentle caress of the water as it eased her pain and sorrow.

She turned a corner, her eyes lighting up as the familiar tree she had always loved came into view. That wasn't all though. Her eyes narrowed a bit as she studied the shadowy, soaked figure under the Sacred Tree.

Her mahogany eyes widened with recognition, and her lips parted slightly as she realized who the figure was.

_...Sesshomaru...!_

She approached him slowly, the wet grass succumbing to the pressure of her feet. He turned his head, narrowing his eyes slightly, but not saying a word.

"Sesshomaru..." she finally managed to muster, her eyes lowering to stare intently at the chain that hung around his neck. It wasn't very noticable, but she could still see it, even if the collar of his jacket was concealing it slightly from view. It was extremely familiar; it was a thin, silver chain on which hung a half of a sapphire heart. The heart, instead of having the letters_LO_ embedded into it, bore the letters _VE._

Kikyo's hand raised to gently touch the heart that hung on the chain around her neck. It was Sesshomaru the whole time?

Sesshomaru wrote the letter?

Sesshomaru gave her the necklace?

Sesshomaru...loved her?

Tears glistened in her chocolate eyes. And all this time, she had almost disregarded his existence...

And she never knew that deep within his cold heart, love for _her _had been there ever since.

Without meaning to, without even thinking about it, Kikyo closed the distance between them and placed her hands on his shoulders. Before either of them knew it, she had tiptoed to meet his height and kissed his lips.

Her mind was a whirlwind of confusion yet pleasure, and she couldn't help thinking how soft his lips were and how warm his body was.

She deepened the kiss without realizing it, but after she did realize that she was kissing him, she was about to break away until she felt his arms slowly curl around her small form. Taking it as a sign of consent, she continued to press her lips against his and wrapped her arms around his muscular body. Finally, she broke away and buried her cheek in his warm shoulder, feeling a line of warm wetness slide down her cheek as she shed a single tear.

"Sesshomaru, I can never forget. But I will always remember."


End file.
